Adult Friendships are hard

Adult Friendships are hard

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  1. It sucks even worse when you’re in your 40’s. When I was 24 I had 20 people in my little apt on a Wednesday night. Card game or magic game going in the kitchen. 10 people huddled around the n64. Now I have like two buddies that will come by for a couple hours a month.

  2. As I’ve gotten older, my friends’ reasons for not being able to come to stuff have gone from “I need to study for my exam” to “I have a shift that night” to “I have to stay with the baby”.

  3. We had about 30 people over last weekend for a pot luck/BBQ. Getting that entire circle of friends in the same place at the same time took an act of god and like 2 months notice, and even still, probably at least 10 people only stayed for like an hour or two before leaving because they have kids or are just old farts who don’t stay out past 9 anymore.

    You really learn to cherish the friends who are still energetic and up for doing things without a specific reason as you get to 30. The other week one friend and I decided to grab tickets off a resell site at the last second (show was at 7:30, we bought them at 8:15) to go to a concert we thought was too expensive at face value. We got there right as the main act was starting. We both commented how we’re pretty sure no one else we know would have done this, because they require everything they do now to be planned weeks in advance or else it’s like their brains can no longer handle it.


  4. My friends and I (around 17 people in all) are 29-30. We see each other every weekend. However, none of us have children. Hell, we saw each other yesterday and we’re meeting tonight for a birthday.

    So the barrier isn’t age, it’s kids.

  5. I’m 30 with like no friends. Pushed most ppl away due to my mental health issues. I want to reach out to people I used to be closer to but I’m concerned I’ll just bring people down. Not in a great place mentally these days and I need to figure it out.

  6. I think this is because when you’re 20 you have both the time and energy to party or have get-togethers. Also, your bar for “friendship” is probably pretty low. By the time you’re 30, you’ve got a life built, and you have responsibilities that don’t necessarily allow you to just drop everything and run to your buddy’s house. You also most likely have much higher standards for friendship, and therefore fewer people you’d make the effort to see.


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